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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28221630">i wear the chain i forged in life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkandsparkly/pseuds/pinkandsparkly'>pinkandsparkly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hunter X Hunter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, M/M, basically ghosts visit kurapika and tell him to love his fucking friends, i am ashamed to admit that this idea came to me after watching the muppet christmas carol movie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:08:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28221630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkandsparkly/pseuds/pinkandsparkly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurapika is preparing for a calm and quiet holiday in his hotel room. And, despite what anyone may say, he certainly doesn't feel any remorse for ditching his friends, once again.</p><p>Then, an encounter with a very strange Nen user leads Kurapika into a journey of self-reflection: to the pleasant memories of the past, to the present he is attempting to avoid by locking himself in his hotel room— and to the future, as Kurapika witnesses the harrowing aftermath of his own self-destructive quest.</p><p>(Or, in simple terms, I wrote a fucking Kurapika Christmas Carol AU.)</p><p>(TEMPORARILY DISCONTINUED because once again i start projects i don't have the time or motivation to finish. will likely pick up again this Christmas, because while i'm not currently in the mood to write it this idea is a banger)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gon Freecs &amp; Kurapika &amp; Leorio Paladiknight &amp; Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika &amp; Pairo (Hunter X Hunter), Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i wear the chain i forged in life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>On Sunday evening, I watched the Muppet Christmas Carol movie with my family, and my hell brain immediately went "Ooh, we can make a fic out of this bad boy." </p><p>Once I had this horrible idea, there was no going back. I called my friend and tried to explain the fact that I was writing a Kurapika Christmas Carol AU without sounding like a lunatic (which is pretty much impossible).</p><p>I'll hopefully get the whole thing published by Christmas, but tbh it might be a bit later than that. It depends on what I end up doing the next few days, which is pretty hard to predict with COVID and all. But, I have the whole thing outlined, and I should definitely have it all up by New Years' at the very least!</p><p>Anyways, I've actually had a lot of fun with this, and I hope someone out there can enjoy it. Merry Christmas!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s Christmas Eve, and Kurapika is alone.</p><p>It’s not something that happened by chance, but rather something that Kurapika had aimed for. He is spending the holiday exactly where he should: in solitude, with only the eyes of his clan and the memories of his family for company.</p><p>He has spent every holiday since he was twelve years old like this: sitting in silence, remembering his family and what his life used to be. It feels wrong for him to spend it any other way. Even though his family never celebrated Christmas, there were numerous similar Kurtan holidays, and Kurapika has countless fond memories of them. Grand dinners, attended by nearly everyone in the clan. Gifts, wrapped in paper and passed around. </p><p>The best memories are the times after the celebration, when he and Pairo would sneak out and stare at the stars. They would talk about everything: the gifts they’d received, the gossip and drama of the holidays. They would talk about the future, and how grand the holidays would be when they were older.</p><p>(Briefly, he thinks that Pairo would be sad to see Kurapika sitting alone in the darkness on Christmas Eve. He shuts the voice up. It’s no use, after all. Kurapika thinks, not for the first time, that maybe he died right alongside his family.)</p><p>Kurapika’s phone vibrates, interrupting his peacefully depressing meditation.</p><p>Sighing, he picks up the device and accepts the call. He doesn’t even need to glance at the name written across the screen. He already knows who it is.</p><p>“Hello?” he asks, for politeness. He braces himself, knowing what comes next.</p><p>“Kurapika!” a voice screams into the phone. <i>What an idiot. He’s probably doing that thing again, the one where his mouth is so wide it looks like he’s about to eat the phone for dinner.</i> “You finally picked up, you bastard! Do you have any idea how many times I’ve tried to call you today?”</p><p>“Yes, in fact, I do,” Kurapika says. “My phone hasn’t stopped vibrating in hours.”</p><p>“Then why the fuck didn’t you pick up sooner?” Leorio yells. Kurapika sighs and holds the phone even further from his ear, to avoid any permanent damage.</p><p>“I’ve been busy, Leorio,” he says.</p><p>“You’re always busy, Kurapika!” An astute observation, truly. “It’s Christmas Fucking Eve!” Another truly intelligent observation. Leorio is on a roll, as always.</p><p>“I noticed,” Kurapika says blandly, toying with the cufflinks of his jacket. “Unfortunately, mafia work does not allow much time for leisure and holidays, Leorio. You know this.”</p><p>“Well, you’re coming tomorrow, right? We talked about this, a few weeks ago.”</p><p>Kurapika sighs and presses his hand to his temple. “Leorio, I can’t make it right now. I have work to do, and-”</p><p>Leorio laughs, a bitter sound. “Yeah, I know. Lots of work. Vengeance, and all that jazz.”</p><p>“You think this is fun for me?” Kurapika snaps. “I’m doing this because I have to!”</p><p>“That’s bullshit. You could take one goddamn day off, and you know it. You’re just avoiding us, like always.”</p><p>“I’m not trying to avoid you. I’m trying to get my work done,” Kurapika argues. “You have no idea what it’s like-”</p><p>“I know, I know. Revenge doesn’t leave time for anything else, does it?” Leorio scoffs bitterly. Kurapika hears Leorio sigh, and for some reason the sound angers him. Leorio’s voice softens. “They made you a present, you know. They’ve been telling me about it for weeks.”</p><p>Kurapika feels a brief pang of guilt, but steers his resolve. He doesn’t even have to ask who Leorio is referring to. </p><p>He had seen Gon and Killua briefly after the whale mission, and they were as bright as always. So excited to see him, even after Kurapika skipped out while Gon was in his darkest moments. He hoped they kept that light. (He could never fit in with them, not truly. All Kurapika brought was darkness, an empty shell with a human face.) “They can give it to me later.”</p><p>Leorio laughs, but there is no joy in it. “Don’t you get it, Kurapika? There won’t be a later. You’ll keep making excuses, and promising us that there will be some grand moment in the future when you show up and actually give a shit.” </p><p>He pauses. “I may be stupid. I’m definitely stupid. As long as you’re out there somewhere, breathing, I’ll never give up on hoping that you’ll come back to us one day. But Gon and Killua aren’t so stupid. Killua already kinda hates you, y’know.”</p><p>Kurapika knows. He remembers the way Killua’s eyes scanned him when they first reunited, as if to ask <i>Where were you? Where were you, when we needed you most?</i></p><p>There is a moment of silence. And then, for once, Leorio’s voice is quiet—almost a whisper. “We can’t wait forever for you to love us back, Kurapika.”</p><p>And for once, Kurapika has no idea what to say. Neither does Leorio—and before Kurapika can come up with the right words, he hears the electronic beep signifying the end of the call.</p><p>He slams his phone down and stands up abruptly, feeling the anger course through him. <i>How</i> dare <i>Leorio insult him like that?</i></p><p>Leorio has no idea what it’s like. He has no idea what it’s like to lose everything, like Kurapika has. He will never know the fear, the anger, the desire for justice that has shaped Kurapika’s every waking moment since that fateful day all those years ago. </p><p>He doesn’t need them. Meeting Gon, Killua, and Leorio was never part of Kurapika’s plan. They were merely a bright blip in Kurapika’s journey. What does it matter if that blip had finally faded? It was never permanent. They were never going to have a life together, grow old together, do all of the things that Kurapika knew Leorio hoped for. </p><p>Kurapika was an empty shell, incapable of love. The only ones he loved were the family that had been stripped away from him so long ago. </p><p>He ignores the shaking in his clenched fists. <i>This is how the story was always set to go, from the moment they all first locked eyes at the exam. That is the way of things. He could never offer them the love they wanted from him, and now they are gone.</i></p><p>(It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.)</p><p>-</p><p>Kurapika heads back to his hotel room to rest. He started renting out the room a couple of days, ago, and it’s nice enough. The sheets are clean, and it’s secluded enough that no one comes to bother him. <i>Exactly how it should be,</i> he reminds himself. </p><p>His peace is interrupted when he walks into the hotel lobby, and immediately stiffens at the presence of a strong aura. <i>A Nen user. Perhaps someone to hunt him down, someone related to the Troupe?</i> His chains are ready at his fists, and his eyes glow softly beneath his contacts.</p><p>He searches for the aura’s owner, and his eyes land on the corner of the room. Behind the glowing aura is a woman. She sits alone on a large armchair, with her hands folded in her lap. She only looks up at Kurapika when he stands right in front of her.</p><p>“Who are you?” Kurapika asks, not one to beat around the bush.</p><p>“A Hunter, presumably like yourself,” she says. Her voice is raspy. </p><p><i>A Hunter. Maybe she’s here for rest, just like you,</i> his brain supplies. </p><p><i>No way,</i> the more cynical (paranoid) part of his brain argues. <i>That’s too much of a coincidence. She’s probably involved with the Troupe, here to hunt you down.</i></p><p>“What is your business here?” he asks.</p><p>“Why does anyone come to a motel, but for rest and recharge?” she says. “Sit down, my child.”</p><p>Kurapika is reluctant to listen to the woman, but he can’t just attack her outright, and he certainly can’t walk away when she may be a danger to his mission. He steps over to the chair next to the woman and cautiously sits.</p><p>The woman holds out her hand, and Kurapika begins to pull out his chains. “Relax, child. I do not aim to hurt you.”</p><p>“What are you- what is your ability?” Kurapika asks.</p><p>“I sense great turmoil within you,” she says, after a long pause. “You are searching for something, something dark.”</p><p><i>Some kind of fortune-telling, or energy reading?</i> Kurapika wonders. He hates conversations like this, ones that dip and flow and work around the actual information. “What do you want from me?” he asks bluntly.</p><p>“I wish nothing of you for myself,” she says, and begins to stand up. “But perhaps my ability can be of use to you, and aid you in your quest.”</p><p>“How so?” Kurapika asks. <i>Finally, some answers.</i></p><p>The woman places her hand on Kurapika’s shoulder, and it takes every bit of concentration in his body not to flinch. Her hand stays for longer than he would prefer, and it feels—strange. Like there is some kind of Nen transaction happening, a sharing of abilities. He jolts away from her touch, and the strange feeling dissipates.</p><p>“You will understand when the clock strikes one,” she tells him. <i>So much for answers.</i></p><p>Before he can ask anything else, the woman is gone. He looks around the empty lobby, dazed and confused. <i>How did she leave so quickly? And what did she mean “when the clock strikes one”?</i></p><p>
  <i>What the hell did she do to him?</i>
</p><p>He sighs angrily and straightens up. <i>No use in wondering. Whatever happens will happen.</i> He brushes himself off and stands up, making the short trip back to his room. </p><p>Finally taking a shower feels like heaven, but the woman’s words still ring in Kurapika’s ears. <i>You are searching for something, something dark.</i></p><p>What was going to happen, at one? What was this woman’s power? </p><p>Turning the showerhead, he steps back into the cold reality and wills his mind to stop getting hung up on the incident in the lobby. He needs to focus, and get some rest before his next mission.</p><p>Not bothering with anything other than a shower, Kurapika drops into bed with a sigh and pulls the thin motel blanket across his shoulders. </p><p>Almost instantly, a million thoughts begin to flood his head. About the strange woman, and her ominous prediction. About the mission he has completed, and the missions yet to come. And, though he tries to suppress it, he thinks about his friends, spending another holiday without him. (And, for only a moment, he thinks about what could have been, in a different life.)</p><p>After a long time of staring blankly at the ceiling, Kurapika drifts into a restless sleep. After tossing and turning for what feels like hours, he glances at the clock, which reads 12:58. </p><p>He sits up in bed, and feels stupid for doing so. <i>The room is dark and empty, and the woman is gone. What could possibly happen?</i> Still, he had to be alert in case something did happen; because if anything does happen, it’s not going to be good.</p><p>He feels his chains come to life in his fists, and breathes deeply.</p><p>The clock strikes one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Next chapter should hopefully be out tomorrow. I'm speedrunning this bitch</p><p>(EDIT: I did not speedrun this bitch. will most likely continue updating next December. sjdnkadn im sorry)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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